Man About Town, Signs

Beartown Voice - May 2025

By Mark Edwardson

Regular readers might recall I've been more than a little bit mobility impaired for the last few months. "Get fit and go for a walk" they said. I did and ended up breaking my shoulder slipping on ice at Glencoe. Four days later and getting used to my new varifocals I took a tumble downstairs after misjudging the location of the top step. But you're not here to listen to me moan. The point is I'm getting out again. Slowly.

As I've been moving sloth-like around Congleton I've had the time to notice things I'd have overlooked previously. Road signs or more accurately, badly judged road signs have started to stand out. I love the improvisation displayed on the "no waiting" plaque on Swan Bank.

The sign is right at the end of double yellow lines. Someone, presumably with a professional interest in these matters, didn't think it was clear enough. And so with the sort of ingenuity that's rare today they took out their chisel tipped permanent marker and hastily drew the arrow you can see in the picture to make the restriction absolutely unequivocal. Some people might scoff but I admire this person's fastidious attention to detail.

I can't say that about the person who's responsible for the yellow diversion instructions spotted recently to the north of Congleton. Mercifully they managed to spell Knutsford correctly. It reminds me of a genuine village name displayed on many Orkney direction signs that bring out childish sniggers in all but the most resilient. But who's heard of Altringham? Close but not close enough.

Moving away from road signs for a moment and I'm reminded of a report my son received from high school. When I was 15 I was in the 4th year and that was the end of it. Truthfully that's a bit old hat these days and I have no objection to progress. Without it we are doomed as a species. But it can throw up some amusing if inadvertent instances. Take a look at the cover page. There's the date of completion and the name of the student. It also shows it was his report from Year 10 and was completed by a teacher with the initials SER. But all I can see is the word "LOSER". Harsh.

And finally to my long term most cherished argument ignitor. The "Millennium 2000" markers erected to celebrate the turn of the century. There's a fundamental problem. As any maths nerd will tell you the 20th Century didn't end on December 31st, 1999. Technically it came to a close twelve months later. Put simply there was no "Year Zero". We start counting at "1" therefore the end of every decade must be 10 or a multiple thereof. So, 2000 was the last year of the 20th Century and the Second Millennium.

Those signs are lovely and they've been raising a smile for this pedant for a quarter of a century and I still party like it's 1999.

All information accurate as of May 2025.